Category Archives: Personal Development

Happily Ever After

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Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a ‘happily ever after’ ending to all stories? If you are in a relationship or looking for a partner, I have to tell you, a ‘happily ever after’ ending is achievable. Typically, this type of ending involves a relationship, but even if you are satisfied being single, my message applies to you too.  First, let me ask you this, do you want a happy ending to your story? If you answered yes, you can truly make it happen. You may have to do a little bit of work, but it will be worth every second of it.

If you are already in a relationship, take your partner completely out of the equation, so there is no blaming, criticizing, accusing, etc. Do you have a clear perception of yourself? There are probably qualities that you like (strengths), but there are indeed some that need improvement (weaknesses), and perhaps you’re not even aware of them. Start by assessing your entire self: your character, thoughts, behavior, emotions, fears, habits, doubts, health, appearance, etc. It’s all part of the package. You have to become who you want to attract in your life. For example, be a good listener if you want people to pay attention to your opinions and beliefs; be more forgiving if you want others to forgive you; show consideration and appreciation toward others if you are looking for respect, etc. Not only will you be helping yourself, but you will also bring out the best in your partner. It’s a win/win situation. Maintaining balance, self-awareness, and being present are critical in the process for manifesting a ‘happily ever after’ ending.

I have been evaluating myself for years, and to this day, I still ask myself how can I improve? I am going to have a fairytale ending to my story with my prince charming!

Saying Goodbye

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It can be difficult to say goodbye to loved ones who have passed, to relationships that didn’t work out, to children going off to college, to sons or daughters moving out of the house/getting married, to active military personnel leaving to serve their country, close friends or relatives who are moving far away, etc. How do we deal with these types of situations when these people have been part of our lives for many years? We have to remember that death is imminent, and in most other cases, people are actually making these choices for themselves. It is natural to experience separation anxiety at first, but we have to learn to let go and become unattached to people. We can remember the good times we shared and wish them well in their new endeavors. People come in and out of our lives for specific reasons, and no matter what, we have to let them be FREE. It should be comforting to know that everything is as it should be. When we change, so will our circle of influence (people we associate with in life). Life comes full circle and we may cross paths again. To overcome sadness and grief, reach out to God and ask for strength and courage. God is always there for us and always will be.

Four Cardinal Virtues

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Dr. Wayne Dyer:

“Some 2,500 years ago, Lao-tzu spoke of the four cardinal virtues and noted that when we practice them as a way of life, we come to know and access the truth of the universe. These four virtues don’t represent external dogma, but a part of our original nature—by practicing them, we realign with Source and access the powers that Source energy has to offer. According to the teachings of Lao-tzu, the four cardinal virtues represent the surest way to leave habits and excuses behind and reconnect to your original nature. The more your life is harmonized with the four virtues, the less you’re controlled by the uncompromising ego.

The First Cardinal Virtue:  Reverence for All Life

The first cardinal virtue manifests in your daily life as unconditional love and respect for all beings in creation. This includes making a conscious effort to love and respect yourself, as well as to remove all judgments and criticisms. Understand that you are a piece of God, and since you must be like what you came from, you are lovable, worthy, and Godlike. Affirm this as often as you can, for when you see yourself in a loving way, you have nothing but love to extend outward. And the more you love others, the less you need old excuse patterns, particularly those relating to blame.

The Second Cardinal Virtue:  Natural Sincerity

This virtue manifests itself as honesty, simplicity, and faithfulness; and it’s summed up by the popular reminder to be true to yourself. Using an excuse to explain why your life isn’t working at the level you prefer isn’t being true to yourself—when you’re completely honest and sincere, excuses don’t even enter into the picture. The second virtue involves living a life that reflects choices that come from respect and affection for your own nature. Make truth your most important attribute. Walk your talk; that is, become sincere and honest in all that you say and do. If you find this to be a challenge, take a moment to affirm: I no longer need to be insincere or dishonest. This is who I am, and this is how I feel. When you know and trust yourself, you also know and trust the Divinity that created you. If you live from honesty, sincerity, and faithfulness to the callings of your spirit, you’ll never have occasion to use excuses.

The Third Cardinal Virtue:  Gentleness

This virtue personifies one of my favorite and most frequently employed maxims: “When you have the choice to be right or to be kind, always pick kind.” So many of your old thinking habits and their attendant excuses come out of a need to make yourself right and others wrong. When you practice this third virtue, you eliminate conflicts that result in your need to explain why you’re right. This virtue manifests as kindness, consideration for others, and sensitivity to spiritual truth.

Gentleness generally implies that you no longer have a strong ego-inspired desire to dominate or control others, which allows you to move into a rhythm with the universe. You cooperate with it, much like a surfer who rides with the waves instead of trying to overpower them. Gentleness means accepting life and people as they are, rather than insisting that they be as you are. As you practice living this way, blame disappears and you enjoy a peaceful world.

The Fourth Cardinal Virtue:  Supportiveness

This virtue manifests in your life as service to others without any expectation of reward. Once again, when you extend yourself in a spirit of giving, helping, or loving, you act as God acts. As you consider the many excuses that have dominated your life, look carefully at them—you’ll see that they’re all focused on the ego: I can’t do this. I’m too busy or too scared. I’m unworthy. No one will help me. I’m too old. I’m too tired.  Now imagine shifting your attention off of yourself and asking the universal mind How may I serve? When you do so, the message you’re sending is: I’m not thinking about myself and what I can or can’t have. Your attention is on making someone else feel better.”

Before and After the Shift

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Dr. Wayne Dyer explored the spiritual journey from ambition to meaning. The powerful shift from the ego constructs we are taught early in life by parents and society – which promote an emphasis on achievement and accumulation – in contrast to a life of meaning, focused on serving and giving back. According to Dr. Dyer, research was done on males and females before and after they experienced this shift. They were asked what their five priorities/values in life were. Below are the results:

Males

Before the Shift                             After the Shift

Wealth                                             Spirituality
Adventure                                        Personal Peace
Achievement                                   Family
Pleasure                                         God’s Will
Respected                                      Honesty


Females

Before the Shift                             After the Shift

Family                                              Own Personal Growth
Sense of Independence                  Sense of Self Esteem
Career                                             Spirituality
Fitting In                                           Happiness
Attractiveness                                  Forgiveness

Being Honorable

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My definition of an honorable person is someone who is righteous, trustworthy, compassionate, and shows respect for others. A person of honor is fair and forgiving, takes responsibility for his/her own actions, keeps promises, and maintains composure during difficult situations. A person who earns an honest living and is willing to help others is being honorable. When these values are practiced, much respect from others will be gained, and there will be a spiritual peaceful feeling within.

Who is Your Best Friend?

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Do you have a best friend? Do you treat your best friend better than all your other friends? Are you kinder and more gentle and respectful toward your best friend? When you look in the mirror at yourself, do you observe your physical attributes, or do you focus on your true self? Do you love and appreciate who you see and who you are? No one knows you better than you. You are your best friend. How well do you treat yourself? Thank your best friend for always being there for you 24/7 through thick and thin.