surrender | deborah parise

I have always believed perfectionism was a good thing and that we must strive to be perfect in everything we do. I have discovered that perfection is not attainable and that no one is perfect (except for our Creator). Life can be very frustrating for a perfectionist. I know, because I am a recovering perfectionist. Before, I wanted my life to be perfect, but now, my goal is to be happy. I continue to learn to be the best I can be and achieve what I can at the highest level possible (excellence) which is good enough for me! Psychologist Thomas Greenspon quoted the following differences between excellence and perfectionism in his book, “Moving Past Perfect:”

“Excellence is risk. Perfection is fear.
Excellence is effort. Perfection is anger and frustration.
Excellence is openness to being wrong. Perfection is having to be right.
Excellence is spontaneity. Perfection is control.
Excellence is flow. Perfectionism is pressure.
Excellence is confidence. Perfectionism is doubt.
Excellence is a journey. Perfectionism is destination.
Excellence is acceptance. Perfectionism is judgement.
Excellence is encouraging. Perfection is criticizing.”

Here are a few more to consider that I’ve read elsewhere:

Excellence is surrender. Perfectionism is consuming.
Excellence is trust. Perfection is selfishness.

Dr. Greenspon also stated, “Perfectionism does not determine success — talent, energy, and commitment do. Perfectionists are successful despite their perfectionism — not because of it.”

Before I started meditating, my life was chaotic. I was a very anxious and uptight person. My mind and thoughts would go a mile a minute. I would worry about things that were out of my control; I got upset so easily over silly stuff, I would forget where I put things, etc. Life was always a struggle. When I started meditating, my life slowly began to change. Amazing things started happening. My life is more balanced, my emotions are under control, and my days go smoother. Life seems easier now, and it is getting better and better every day in every way. There are no meds, drugs, alcohol, or anything to ingest. Meditation is just pure and natural being. Here is what meditation has done for me:

The noise or mind chatter in my head has reduced significantly.
I have a more positive attitude.
I am a calmer and more relaxed person.
I feel healthier and more energetic.
I sleep better.
I am happier.
I am confident.
I can surrender to what is happening in each moment.
I am a more conscious being.
I have more peace and clarity in my life.

Meditation is empowering, enlightening, and transformative. I challenge you to try it for just one week straight for at least 15-20 minutes each day. It takes a little discipline, but I know you can do it!