A question for you: Do you save your marriage or do you save your soul?
“Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form. In the stillness of your presence, you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form. You can then feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love.
The reason why the romantic love relationship is such an intense and universally sought-after experience is that it seems to offer liberation from a deep-seated state of fear, need, lack, and incompleteness that is part of the human condition in its unredeemed and unenlightened state. There is a physical as well as a psychological dimension to this state.
The moment that judgment stops through acceptance of what is, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, for joy, for peace. First you stop judging yourself; then you stop judging your partner. The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance of your partner as he or she is, without needing to judge or change them in any way. That immediately takes you beyond ego. All mind games and all addictive clinging are then over. There are no victims and no perpetrators anymore, no accuser and accused. This is also the end of all codependency, of being drawn into somebody else’s unconscious pattern and thereby enabling it to continue. You will then either separate – in love – or move ever more deeply into the Now together – into Being.” – Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
My daughter recently announced she is getting married next May, so this prompted me to post something about marriage. I am so excited; I love to see two people get married. If you want to spend the rest of your life with one particular person, and you can totally trust that person, why not get married? If it’s because of financial reasons, children involved, or just plain being selfish, or any other excuse for that matter, then is it a genuine relationship? No relationships are perfect, because no two individuals are exactly alike in every way. The question is, can you live with these differences? I found this article on: https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/marriage.
We have all unintentionally hurt someone who put their trust in us. In order to restore the relationship, you have to apologize to the other person. True leaders acknowledge or “own” their mistakes. Below are key components for making an effective, sincere apology:
- Respectfully admit you messed up.
- Take responsibility for your behavior or actions.
- Express remorse and say you are truly sorry.
- Ask what you can do (or offer) to make things right.
- Promise that it will not happen again.
- Make amends.
What NOT to do:
- Make excuses or rationalize your behavior.
- Downplay the situation by saying for example, “It was just a joke!”
- Turn it around and start blaming/criticizing the victim.
- Change the subject.
When we want to attract the right people into our lives, we first have to be right with ourselves. How can we be better so that we can have better relationships? If you’re in a relationship that needs repaired, figure out what you can do to make things right. Instead of expecting the other person to change, we have to learn to change ourselves. Become more loving, accepting, and supportive of ourselves, and then we can provide the same in our relationships.
We are constantly attracting people into our lives. Not all people are meant to stay, especially if you are experiencing change in your life. Those people may no longer be at the same place as where you are. We cannot expect people to be who we want them to be. We will become very frustrated with the relationship. They have to want to change for themselves. Some people will change and some will not. Either way, we must accept them for who they are.