So I asked myself… have I really changed? Can people actually change? Is this possible? I know when people hit the ground hard enough, they are forced to change, but do they eventually go back to being their same, old selves? I have been working on self-improvement for several years, but it’s hard for me to tell if I am truly changing. I still find myself having recurring thoughts and habits. At least I am aware of them, and I do feel a little stronger and less of a people pleaser. I guess after all those years of having the same thoughts and habits, that they are so ingrained in me, and that change is a gradual process. It’s sort of like an etched stone when the engraving eventually wears off. I am practicing patience, because I am determined to break free from the grip of the mind.
So I googled sympathy vs. empathy vs. compassion to learn the differences of these three words, and the first site that came up was operationmeditation.com. Below is what was provided:
Sympathy – feeling sorry for another’s hurt
Sympathy is feeling sorry for another’s hurt or pain. There is some emotional distance with sympathy – you are not experiencing the pain for yourself, rather you are saying “Isn’t it sad that this person is having a bad time”. Sometimes sympathy can tip into pity, and that is where some caution is needed. Pity is an emotion that tends to dehumanize and belittle. Most people who have a disability or other challenges will despise being ‘pitied’ as pity strips away the rich reality of their human experience and leaves just the difficulty or disability on view. For a deeper relationship and understanding, empathy is needed.
Empathy – walking in another’s shoes
Empathy takes things a little deeper – it is the ability to experience for yourself some of the pain that the other person may be experiencing. It is an acknowledgement of our shared experience as humans and recognition that we all feel grief and loss and pain and fear. You do not need to have experienced exactly the same events as the person who is suffering but you do need to have the ability to really imagine how they must be feeling in their situation. Empathy is a vicarious experience – if your friend is feeling afraid, you too will experience a feeling of fear in your body; if they are sad, you too will feel sorrow. Feeling empathy is allowing yourself to become tuned into another person’s emotional experience. It takes courage to do this but if you have ever experienced real empathy from another when you have been hurting, you will know what a gift it can be.
Compassion – love in action
If empathy is the ability to really experience some of the feelings of pain that another person is feeling, then compassion is to translate that feeling into action. You understand that your friend is feeling worried and stressed with their aging relative in hospital, so you cook the family some dinners and take their children for an afternoon. True compassion reaches out to all people, no matter whether they are your friends or not, and even to all living creatures. It is the ability and willingness to stand alongside someone and to put their needs before your own. Living a compassionate life can be learned – it is not just something that some ‘extra-good’ people are born with. Changing habits takes persistence and practice but it is achievable through the right methods. Many of the worlds’ wisest people have stated that giving to others in life is the source of the greatest contentment and life satisfaction, so there are many personal benefits to be gained as well.
We all have habits; some good and some unhealthy. Habits can be hard to break, but you can definitely change them. First, you have to recognize that it’s a bad habit. This is key to changing it. Second, you’ve got to take action. You can’t just sit there and think about it or talk about it. You’ve got to do something to correct it! You have the power and strength within you to achieve what you desire. So get started and get going! Change those bad habits! Here’s my healthy eating photo for today.